Pam Ayala Memorial

Pamela Jean Ayala's Obituary

Pamela Jean Ayala, 55, of Nashua, wife of Robert S. Ayala, died Tuesday afternoon, May 13th at the Community Hospice House in Merrimack. Mrs. Ayala was born in Maywood, California on July 11, 1952, daughter of the late Ed and Opal (Reif) Vandevier. Pamela grew up in Whittier, California, where she was educated and was a graduate of Whittier High School, class of 1970.

Pamela and Robert were married in Los Angeles on August 25, 1972. The Ayala's moved to Nashua in July 2000 and have been active members of Grace Fellowship Church.

Prior to her illness, Pamela had worked as a photographer at J.C. Penney Portrait Studios at the Pheasant Lane Mall. In her leisure time, Pamela loved traveling.

Members of her family include her husband of 35 years, Robert S. Ayala; three sons, Corey Molisee of Missouri, Casey Ayala and his wife Heather, and Kevin Ayala, all of Georgia; two daughters, Kari Ayala of Alabama and Joy Ayala of New Hampshire; two grandchildren, Kyleigh and Jeremiah Ayala; two brothers, Johnie Vandevier and his wife Carol of Santa Rosa, CA and Danny Yoshimogo of Eureka, CA; a sister, Susan Vandevier of Bosque, New Mexico; also nieces, nephews and cousins.

[Published in the Nashua Telegraph Newspaper]

PAMELA AYALA'S EULOGY

Pamela Jean was born July 11, 1952 in Maywood, California to Ed and Opal Vandevier
She was the youngest of four children. Her surviving siblings are Danny, Johnnie and Susan. She is also survived by her Children, Casey, Kari, Corey, Kevin and Joy.

Pam loved children and as a teen-ager helped her mother teach Sunday school. Upon her high school graduation, she became certified as a pre-school teacher in California and she taught pre-school after her and Bob were married. A couple of years later, Bob and her taught a Sunday school class for mentally handicapped children at Brea O’Linda Friends church in southern California.

Pam and Bob first met in choir class at Sierra High School in Whittier, California, a suburb of Los Angeles, and although Bob flirted with her, she would have nothing to do with him till he was both saved and sanctified. A couple of years later Bob had given his life to Christ, and as it turned out they met again in May of 1971 at a Christian coffee house and the friendship that developed eventually brought them together as man and wife on August 25, 1972. Bob was singing locally in southern Cal and Arizona, but when he recorded his first album on Myrrh records in 1976, their music ministry took them all over the world. In 1986, they would adopt Michael Casey from a crisis pregnancy center in West Virginia which they had come in contact with through the pro-life work they were involved with. In 1989 two more children, Kari and Corey, would be brought into their home through the same agency. Then after 20 years of marriage, Bob and Pam were shocked to find that Pam was pregnant, which the doctors said could not happen. Kevin was born the day after Christmas 1992. On Good Friday 1995, their daughter Joy would come to round out the Ayala family which had now grown to 7.

Pam loved life and all nature, especially the giant redwood and sequoia forests of California as well as the Pacific ocean. She was so pro-life, Pam refused to kill spiders or insects and unless they were poisonous would pick them up with her bare hand and take them outside to live another day. So, it was quite natural that she loved working in the garden. In Texas they had 5 acres of beautiful wooded land that Pam had to tame and tame it she did. It was like therapy for her as she spent hours in the Texas heat doing yard work, fire ants, poisonous snakes and other critters not withstanding.

One of her favorite times of year was Christmas. She loved decorating, particularly in Texas where she had a big house with lots of space to do it. All year long she shopped for great bargains for the kids Christmas presents, and they would be hidden in the attic, under the bed, behind dressers and any place she could find for hiding. The only problem was that sometimes she hid them so well, some presents weren’t found for weeks…or even months after Christmas.

Pam was a worshipper, and in her last days when just breathing was a great effort, Bob could hear her whispering along as he worshipped in song with her during the day or in the middle of the night. Worship would calm her soul through those rough days. There had been some very difficult, turbulent times in the last several years, but she would always find strength and comfort in worship, taking refuge in the shadow of the almighty.

Upon discovering she had cancer, she remarked several times, “either way I’m a winner. If I’m healed it will be awesome, and if I don’t make it? – I’ll be in heaven with Jesus.” But cancer is a terrible disease. Even though her kind of cancer was so aggressive, doing it’s deadly work with such great speed and efficiency, she faced it with courage and dignity. Her faith in Jesus was a strong tower, a place of refuge in the storm. She was not afraid to die, but of the dieing process. Still, she trusted the Lord. She didn’t want to die, she wanted to see her youngest children grow up, graduate, marry and she wanted more grand children, so she hung on to life which had become so dear. Through it all, she knew that God was still on the throne and he would see that her husband and children would be well taken care of. Pam knew her God could save her…but for what ever reasons, , chose not to, and she was able to accept His will.

Four days before her passing, her doctor met with her at the hospice house and Pam asked her what bodily changes she could expect as she neared death. The doctor explained the process but reassured her that there were many medications available to them, and what ever was necessary for her comfort and well being would be utilized. Then Pam asked the big question…”how long.” The doctor told her that she had only days, maybe two or three, for sure only five to ten on the outside, but certainly it could not be described in weeks. Pam thanked her for being straight with her. The doctor left the room, and a long silence followed. Then she said to Bob, “free at last, free at last. No more tubes, no more wires, I’ll be free at last.” And so it was that on May 13, 2008 Pamela Jean Ayala entered into His rest. Now she has no more pain, no more sorrow. She is breathing the very air of heaven and basking in the light of His love. Free at last, free at last…she is free at last.

[written by Bob Ayala]

PAM'S FINAL MOMENTS
by Bob Ayala

I can't begin to tell you how I feel. It is like I am floating on a cloud of grace and peace that surpasses all understanding. Of course, this should be no surprise at all considering the great cloud of witnesses that have been praying for our family. Why shouldn't I be doing so well. I am flooded with His peace and even Joy. It is as if a 10 thousand pound weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Watching Pam suffer has been the hardest experience of my life. Still, somehow in the midst of it, we experienced a closeness yet unknown. We had become bonded like never before.

Being God's instrument of peace through worship while she had those moments of intense fear is impossible to describe. She was not afraid to die, but afraid of the death process and what she might have to suffer. Sometimes in the middle of the night Pam would have anxiety attacks due to the difficulty in breathing. Her respiration became rapid and much labored. Then I would get my guitar and begin to sing to Jesus and in just minutes I could hear her breathing relax. Soon I would hear her whispering the words to the worship songs along with me...then blessed sleep would come. I would hide my tears as best I could as I sang. This repeated many times through her final days.

On the morning of May 13, it had become obvious that her time was near. The nurse practitioner at the hospice house informed us that she had turned a corner and was going rapidly. She said if you have any family in town, now is the time for them to come. I thought of my son Kevin and I tried to reach his school but found I could only leave a message. I decided to just let it go as it appeared Pam had only minutes. Walking into her spacious hospice room I sat on the chair beside her bed. Her breathing was now difficult and she had developed what is often called the "death rattle" created by congestion in the throat. The sound filled her otherwise silent room…it seemed to fill my universe and I was quite disconcerted. I shut it out as best I could, Stroking her head, I began recounting our lives together starting from our honeymoon in Ensenada Mexico. I reminisced about our years of ministry, funny road stories, the great hotels and restaurants, Hawaiian sunsets, touring with Andre Crouch, Keith and Melody Green’s Last Days Ministries, touring Europe, Australia, Canada and the US, not to mention raising 5 kids. We had a rich life together.

My sister Lorraine and a good friend Suzanne Locke (who was a nurse and had been so instrumental in helping me with Pam’s care over the last couple of months) were also in the room. Then, Suzanne suggested singing the song I sang at our wedding. But 35 years was far too long to remember that wedding song. So my sister Lorraine said, "Sing Pamela." Now this was a song which was on my second Myrrh album and describes how Pam had been there for me as I passed through the difficult process of losing my vision. It was really a song of tribute to her love and dedication as a wife…a tear jerker under normal circumstances. So I began to sing not knowing if Pam was even aware of me at all or could hear her song. I stumbled through it as best I could and when I came to the last verse, Suzanne and Lorraine with great excitement said “Bob, Pam is responding, her eyes are fluttering open.” Something a kin to joy and sorrow welled up inside my chest and I thought I would burst. Now I was at the last couple of lines when her eyes became fully open. Pam turned toward me…and was looking and reaching out to me. Suddenly, 2 things happened simultaneously as I played the last chord. Her eyes opened wide, as if she was seeing something of great wonder and then the death rattle abruptly stopped. The room fell silent. Suzanne immediately took my guitar and I went to her side and kissed her head and face. I told her I loved her...she twitched a couple of times, and then she was gone. At that very moment I felt something quite unexpected. It was not a sense of loss, nor sorrow, but I was filled with wonder about the thing which I had just witnessed. I felt like taking off my shoes as the presence of God was so real in that room and at that moment. In all my days I will never forget that moment…for it was sacred but all to fleeting. A nurse had to be called to verify what we already knew. I remember checking my watch because in the back of my mind I knew that there needed to be a time of death for the death certificate. The “window of heaven” had closed, and now for the first time I felt my loss. The way in which her final moments here on earth had come to an end seems almost unreal to me even now. It was as if it had been scripted, like a Hollywood movie, except in this one, God was the director, producer and screenwriter.

This was no tragedy in the way we normally think of it. It was her time. And all her suffering was not in vain. For over the past couple of weeks, God was using her suffering in her children’s lives to bring about wonderful changes. I recounted these things in detail the day before her passing, on two different occasions just to make sure she understood, and as I did so she responded with “yes! Yes!” This seemed to have brought her great joy and peace in the midst of her suffering…a strange but glorious juxtaposition.
God is on the thrown. None of us know when our time is or how that appointment with death shall come. It may be sudden and without warning, or through a long bout with illness. It might come when we are young, or at the ripe old age of 100…but it will come for us all. We must be ready for the inevitable. For it is appointed for a man once to die, and then the judgment. Pam was ready not by reason of her good works, for how she cared for people, or how she served the body of Christ. Nor did her devotion to preserving life and the unborn even to the point of adopting children from a crisis pregnancy ministry make her ready. But it was by the finished work of Christ on the cross that made her both ready and worthy to stand in the very presence of God. She accepted God’s free gift of salvation through His righteousness alone. Like the rest of us, she was not perfect…a flawed human being…with her own set of struggles and sins. But as one sifts through the good and not so good that was her life, it is easy to see that Pam was a giver not a taker. She loved passionately, her husband, her children, even other people’s children and most of all her God…before whom she is even now bowed in worship and adoration.